Encounters of the Two-Wheeled Kind

Cycling is a wonderful activity, bringing you closer to nature, extending your lifespan (horrific cattlegrid mishaps aside) and generating interesting talking-points about your hilarious escapades in the countryside or else gloatable achievments like clambering up a 15 degree incline and not even having to slip into first gear because of your steely, muscular glutials.

This morning I was cycling to work as per and on the steepest uphill struggle of my daily route I heard a voice behind me ask “Hey, don’t you work in the office next to mine?”

With a mixture of dread and self-consciousness I looked around and the rather nice young chap that is working in the office next to mine who I hadn’t met yet powers up next to me on his kitted out mountain bike (wearing matching helmet and tighty shorts and t-shirt) and effortlessly launches into conversation.

Now this is quite embarassing as I usually sing along to my iPod while cycling and was mouthing the words to my favourite Foo Fighters track while this was happening, not only that but I was really batteling the friction between gravity and bike wheels hoiking myself up this hill and so I am panting, sweating and generally in comparison to this lithe young man, I am Jo Brand having an asthma attack.

I end up cycling to work with this boy (of course laying all my cards on the table as I always do when meeting nice young men who I am attracted to and nipping that I have a boyfriend into the conversation).

At work we meet in the communal foyer on our way into our respective bathrooms to change. He is about 6 foot 5 and tanned, blonde, nimble, athletic and not a little bit cute. I am pale, sweating, my thighs make up for about half of my body mass and my hair is tied back into a Croyden Facelift. Needless to say, I think any chance of my hormones dictating my brain and jumping into the foliage of the cycle route with him are sufficiently scuppered.

A hussy I am not… bicycle related romance fantasist I may be.


2 Responses

  1. ooooo i really enjoyed reading that…of course youre not a hussy..you were just being polite and social, and there is nothing wrong with that i say…..as i have been caught in that sitution once ( not cycling to work mind you….just around Rutland Waters, Lincolnshire) and had to drop my husband into the conversation heehe…though i dont know who i was trying to convince..me or him heehe
    but yes….isnt cycling glorius…i use to be a fair weather cyclist, but ever since ive come back from holiday..i vow to treat my bike with respect and take her come rain or sunshine…
    go going on yours…i still have to get off to walk up hills heehe..

  2. I enjoyed reading this. Made me smile. Time to get out on the road more 🙂

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