On Yer Bike

I have decided that I have become thoroughly bored with jogging. Jogging is a tedious activity even if you are listening to some powerful techno beats en route concurrent with keeping your iPod plugs from dropping out your ears. Rather than get fat, I have taken up cycling. “Taken-up” is a misnomer as in fact I have been told to stop moaning about how much pudding I eat every night and complaining about how big my bum has got and I’ve literally been told to get on my bike.

As a teen I loved to cycle. I have just had this love rekindled in my very soul as there is nothing quite as wholesome as a twelve mile round trip to work and back on a daily basis. I must say that I relish it, even the sweaty uphill struggles because they are usually followed by glorious downhill freewheeling where I honestly have to use self-control to stop myself from kicking my legs out to the sides and squeeling “WHEEEEEEEEEE” whilst passing lots of real grown-ups quaffing Magners at the pub that I pass.

I figure that 6 miles there and back is a small price of personal sweat and occasional oil stains when over-enthusiastic gear changing slips the chain off compared with the cost of petrol and the size of my arse. I’m also getting quite a nice tan on my pasty corpse. I do cycle on a regular basis anyway but apart from the occasional ambitious weekend marathon cycle, my endeavours are hardly back-breaking.

Now I am extremely lucky in that I live and work rurally and so the bike ride itself is quiet and pleasant… as in bunnies, fawns, butterflies and squirrells. Very few cars, pedestrians and at those times of day, fellow cyclists. I work in an industrial estate in a very out-of-the-way village and the market town I currently call home with my family is well cycle-routed and so it is just a pleasant country cycle that takes the best part of an hour to complete.

I have been doing the route at least three times a week (when I don’t it is because of driving lessons or poor weather) for the past four weeks and I am thrilled with the physical change in my body and in myself and I honestly cannot believe the effort it used to be when I first started compared with now. Even when I went on runs I don’t think I was as physically fit! runnign hurts my ankles… because I don’t own proper running shoes with shock absorbing air heels. I put up with my flat and ancient tennis shoes bought because they looked nice with jeans as opposed to their sporting role.

Fashion aside, with cycling now the honeymoon period is wearing thin and I have succumbed to the next level of enthusiasm for the activity which is “customisation”. Yes, you guessed it, I am kitting out my sorry hand-me-down bike as I now consider myself (after just one month) to own the cycle route. I have a new helmet to match the bike frame, new sports clothing, a new lock and even a new gel saddle cover to prevent that acute of inflictions, Bikers Bottom (which, believe me, when cycling in the county over cattle girds and potholes is quite agonising). Its great! Now all I need is a nice pair of paniers, a light for winter and a wind jacket for when the weather turns… and an iPod holder which goes around my waist and a new coat of paint and swish tyres etc.

Seriously though, people make fun of David Cameron and Boris Johnson… although it is hilarious that DC thought that locking his bike around a 2 foot bollard would make it secure… but they are setting a good example (not that I am a staunch Tory supporter by any stretch of the imagination). My colleagues are all active people and are all as conscious as me about how much chocolate I scoff and how big my bottom is getting and yet the bikes stay in the garage. The sun is out, the birds are singing and the cyclepath had just been re-surfaced. Get out your tight shorts and embrace the glorious feeling of stradelling a hard, leather saddle while spinning downhill and not getting your wheels jammed in drains!

In the current climate both meteorogically and financially we should all be out on our bikes. Its is light on the pocket, great for the bum, magic for the atmosphere and good for the soul.


2 Responses

  1. This was a great blog! Biker’s Bottom is probably the Evil of all Evil’s! I live in Tx and around a busy area so it’s hard for me to get out and ride like you do, but I stop into a spin class occasionally. I love the feeling of complete fatigue but knowing I finished the class. Inspiring post..keep it up!

  2. hmm.. thank you very much. usefull information

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